When I Grow Up

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Starting at a very young age, all the way through high school graduation and into adulthood, people ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I can’t remember ever having an answer for that. I don’t remember thinking, a veterinarian or a teacher or an astronaut. I didn’t have dreams of becoming an actress or a nurse or a lawyer. I do remember people telling me I should be an artist but I never felt comfortable putting a price on my crafts. Recently, I realized the reason I could never come up with an answer for what is usually a pretty defining question is because I never thought I could answer with, “Just let me BE. I want to be Free!”

The one thing that I have always wanted to do is…. whatever I want! I’m aware this may conjure up images of Cartman or a stubborn child. I mean, one of the reasons I decided to NOT go to college after high school is because I wanted to sleep. I know that sounds utterly ridiculous and I admit, I am a bit ridiculous. But I basically went my whole life with other people dictating my sleep schedule and I just wanted to sleep. Like, full on fall into the sweet blissful depths of sleep for as long as I wanted. I love sleep and boy did I sleep! I’m happy to report that after I graduated from Sleep University, summa cum laude, I had it out of my system and I’m not quite the lazy bum I used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still rock the shit out of a nap if given the opportunity. That being said, my desire to do whatever I want actually runs quite a bit deeper. I have been an incredibly willful soul for as long as I can remember, making authority a hard thing for me to cope with. I’ve also never desired the things that the vast majority of Americans work for. Big house? No thanks. Fancy car with all the bells and whistles? More stuff to break if you ask me. Expensive clothes with the name strewn across the chest? Not my style.

I have never understood why people have lives filled almost solely with things they have to do. Shouldn’t we mostly be doing things we want to do? Wouldn’t that make us happier? Isn’t that what life is about? Finding happiness? I mean screw everyone else’s expectations and society’s judgments too! They don’t have to live in your body and mind. You’re in charge of you and your happiness and you will be until the very end. Of course, there may be that Mystical All Knowing Higher Power out there putting her two cents in but I guarantee, she’s got your back. Haven’t you ever noticed that doors open when you go for stuff that’s right and good for you?

So now that I’ve figured out that what I want to be when I grow up is Free, I have started to get to work. I decided to break away from the last bit of societal constraints I had allowed in my life. I decided I would indulge that strong will of mine and see where it takes me! With that decision, the Mystical All Knowing Higher Power pulled some strings and found me a 1978 Dodge Commander motor home well within my price range, not too big, not too small and barely any bells and whistles to break! In this blog I will document my renovations, remodels, blood, sweat and tears until she’s ready to roll. Then continue to follow along as my kitties and I experience the freedom of the open road!  My goals for this new chapter of my life is to live as simply as possible and find out how much fuller that makes my life. To embrace the unknown, to not let fear hold me back and to find things in me I didn’t know I had. I want to honor my truth and live as authentically as possible. I want to BE. Join me, won’t you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “When I Grow Up

  1. Josh

    “Haven’t you ever noticed that doors open when you go for stuff that’s right and good for you?” – Fucking A. Thanks for this…that’s really powerful. As an aside, this sort of makes me think of the movie the Mask – not the Mask with jim carey, the Mask with cher…the scene in the end where Cher starts pulling the tacks down from his map – “you can go anywhere you want now, baby.” Not sure why, but it somehow feels relevant.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Krista

    “I mean, one of the reasons I decided to NOT go to college after high school is because I wanted to sleep.” laughed out loud at this. I can’t wait to read on!

    Like

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